


You Belong with Me

by VioletEclipse



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amputee Bucky Barnes, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, Gay Bucky Barnes, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, pansexual Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22891021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletEclipse/pseuds/VioletEclipse
Summary: Bucky has been in foster care since birth, no one wanted a baby with one arm. His situation is not much better, but he has had this placement for a 4 years, and it comes with Steve, his one and only friend. Steve is popular, the school's all-star lacrosse player, boyfriend the school's head cheerleader Sharon, and his next-door neighbor. The problem? Well other than the hell that is high school, Bucky is deeply in love with Steve. How does a one-armed outcast befriend a guy like Steve? Written messages shared on paper during the night. What? It's not like Bucky can afford a phone. Inspired by the 'You Belong with Me' music video. A Stucky remix of my original fic. Similar setup, different trip, but you still end up at the end.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 58





	You Belong with Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey people :) This was my first oneshot and it was nowhere close to perfect. But people seemed to like it and meant the world to me. Since then, I read a novel based on a similar idea and I could not get a Stucky version out of my mind, this is the result. I changed a few things, so it works better for the new couple. I have decided to replace the original with this remix, which I think is better. Thanks for giving this a shot :D 
> 
> Written Messages are in italics.
> 
> Disclaimer – Just borrowing these guys and the music video concept.

“You know you’re mine right?” His blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight, highlighting the flecks of love.

“Till the end of the line?” Bucky asked smirking. He let his hair fall into his eyes, hiding the embarrassment and blooming sadness.

“Longer than that, I think part of me will always be with a part of you.” He said brushing the hair out of Bucky’s eyes, smile getting brighter as the heat filled Bucky’s cheeks.

“Possessive punk!” Bucky says as he returns the smile.

“You love it Buck.” He said leaning in.

“I love you Steve, the possessiveness is just a dream. You could never want me.” Bucky mumbles as he reaches an arm that isn’t there.

Bucky opened his eyes as the banging on his door continued. He rubbed his eyes and he let out a small sigh. “Let the nightmare begin.”

“Boy get your ass out of bed! You have to leave in 30 minutes!” Harold, his foster father, yelled as he stomped away. He got out of bed and got ready for the day.

Once he had clothes on, he tied his hair back in a messy bun and opened his curtain. Bucky’s eyes widened as he saw the pale beauty in the other house. He couldn’t stop himself from blushing. He reluctantly pulled his eyes away as he remembered his dream. As he headed out the door a familiar dizzy feeling washed over him, likely due to his lack of sleep. Bucky had trouble remembering the last time he had longer than a few hours. His nights were always plagued with nightmares, or dreams he refused to get lost in.

When he made it downstairs, he began to pick at the cold oatmeal that was sitting in front of him. Harold had just come out of the bathroom and went to the fridge.

“We are out of juice!” He grumbled looking at Bucky.

Samantha, Bucky’s foster mother, sighed and sat down at the kitchen table. “We are out of a lot of things lately.” She said also looking at Bucky.

“Were you up late again last night?” Harold said as if he was the scum of the Earth. “No wonder you are such a pain to wake up in the morning.” He said before Bucky could even answer his question.

“Three more months sweetheart, and then he’s gone. James won’t be a thorn in our sides anymore, you have been so strong dealing with his disabilities. You are still moving out then right James?” She said glancing in his direction.

“I am moving out next month actually.” He said answering her, Samantha’s face darkened.

“I wish you would do something right for once and tell me the correct date.” Her glare intensified. He had told her the correct date; a note is written on the fridge to remind them.

“What are we going to do without that extra $500 a month?” Harold asked frantically.

“May I be excused.” Bucky said as he got up before even waiting to get an answer.

Both of his foster parents continued talking as if he never even left. He felt sick to his stomach. He tried hard some days to convince himself that after 4 years together they may feel something for him, but they crush those hopes every time they open their mouths.

Bucky’s eyes drifted next-door again as he left the house. He saw Steve, the love of his life, standing there looking like a god. He put a fake smile on his face and walked up to him.

“Good morning Steve, how are you?” Bucky tried very hard not to sound so happy to see him. He didn’t want his feelings to show.

“Hey Buck, why are nights so bloody short. I cannot wait for high school to end.” He sighed, “How are you doing?”

Bucky grinned at Steve’s antics and the nickname. He knew it was silly, but he could not help but think it made him special to Steve. Most people worshipped the ground Steve walked on, others treated him like national icon, and everyone else wanted in his pants. Steve is the school’s all-star lacrosse player, he’s a straight A student, he got college offers from pretty much every school, and he is unbelievably kind. He is president of the student counsel, volunteers at soup kitchens, retirement homes, and the animal shelter. Bucky is certain he’s never heard Steve even so much as swear.

“I am great, cannot wait to be done with high school too.” Bucky smiled again…it was hard not to with Steve around.

Bucky was about to start up another conversation with Steve when a familiar car pulled up. When Steve got in the car he was greeted with, what Bucky would describe as, a “you are my property” kiss, from his girlfriend Sharon.

Sharon is the school’s head cheerleader, a trust fund baby, and the biggest bitch you will ever have the pleasure of knowing. Everyone either wanted to screw her, be her, or they were fucking terrified of her. People were assuming they would go off to college together. With her grades and personality, she would be lucky to survive one interview. But, with her family’s money, it is a guarantee.

“You want a ride Buck?” Steve asked with a warm smile. Bucky received a “fuck off” glare from Sharon.

“No thanks, I am going to walk.” Bucky said giving Seto a small smile, Sharon’s grin reached both of her ears. This happened every morning, he could not figure out why an angel like Steve is with her.

The walk to school was a long one, but Bucky did not mind because it gave him time to think. Like usual his mind was flooded with Steve. He was Bucky’s best and only friend. Every time Bucky thought of how their relationship started, he couldn’t help but smile.

**Four Years Ago.**

It was four months since he had moved in with Harold and Samantha. He was in his room doing homework when he felt his eyes glance towards the window across the yard. Steve had been in the middle of a workout the last time he looked, five minutes ago. Now there was something sitting in the window.

_“What did you get for number six?”_ Was written in big blue letters on a notebook.

Bucky picked up a spare book and wrote “ _B.”_ That is how their late-night message conversations began.

Once night Bucky had come home to _“What is your cell number? It is probably easier if we text.”_

“ _I don’t have a phone and why I don’t is complicated. Can we just keep doing this?_ Steve never brought it up again. He probably thought it had something to do with Bucky’s missing left arm. If only, Bucky could easily text with his right hand, what he lacked was the money to get one.

Steve continued to write to him, sometimes for hours. Bucky had no idea when he fell for Steve. All he knew is that he fell and has been falling ever since. He just wished Steve was falling with him.

**The Present**

Bucky lived with the loneliness, he grew up with it, loneliness is the only constant he’s ever known. Seventeen years and it is still cold and painful. Some days are harder than others, like today. He feels it slithering around him, closing in, and making it harder to breath. So, Bucky ran, he used to fight it. When he had more energy, when he had hope, when he thought someone would have his back.

Once Bucky made it to school, the day continued its decent to hell. He’s bullied in every class, his hair, lost arm, lack of parents. They have a lot of ammo. When the final bell rang, Buck began to run again. He ran out of his last class; he did not stop running until he was out of the building. He slowed down to a light jog for a moment, caught his breath, and took in his surroundings. He saw Steve.

Sharon had her arms wrapped around Steve. They were in her car again, the convertible doing nothing to hide the way her hands explored his back. She caught Bucky’s eye and her glare made his stomach drop. He felt the suffocation again, the loneliness joined by pain that clawed at his insides. Daring him to openly love Steve, let the pain sink its claws in his heart, let the love bleed. Let the loneliness slither around his hope, let himself believe for a moment that Steve would stop the bleeding, as the loneliness strangled the life out of it.

Bucky tore his eyes away. He blinked away his tears and started to run again.

Once Bucky was in his room, he changed out of his uncomfortable school cloths and into some pajamas. He sat down to start his homework, the house was quiet, he assumed that his foster parents were working the night shift again.

The whole time he was doing his homework he let his eyes travel over to Steve’s room. He kept waiting for the lights to pop on, and then he’d know Steve is home. It was about 10pm when that happened, he finished his homework hours ago.

Bucky is watching Love Simon. The lights popped on a few minutes ago, he could see Steve walking in front of the window. He looked pissed, and he was arguing on the phone with someone.

Bucky picked up his special binder, after the first week of talking he realised he’d need a lot of paper. “ _Are you okay? What happened?”_ He put the message down and waited until Steve put the phone down, he did not want to interrupt the conversation.

Steve’s conversation went on for a while, and only seemed to get more heated. When it was finally over Steve threw his phone on the bed and put his head in his hands. Bucky figured this was his cue, held up the message and waited. When Steve finally looked up, he smiled and began writing a back.

_“Sharon’s being a bigger bitch then normal.”_ Steve held up with a sad smirk. Bucky is a little shocked. That is the closest Steve has come to swearing.

Bucky sat down on his window seat and put headphones in his ears. He selected Crowded Room by Selena Gomez as he looked at Steve. When Steve laid his face in his hand and looked over with a smile, Bucky realised that he had stared for too long. He quickly began writing something down as his cheeks turned a bright red.

_“Sorry :( Wish there was something that I could do to help_.” Bucky showed him the message with his own sad smirk. Steve smiled and Bucky felt his heart begin to race.

_“Since you asked, would you mind if I walked to school with you tomorrow?_ ” Bucky felt like his cheeks were on fire, he only managed to nod.

Seeing this caused Steve to smile, he waved goodbye, and shut his curtain for the night. Bucky wanted to slap himself for acting like a love-struck child. He kept repeating to himself that the only reason Steve asked him was because he lived right next door.

Once the sad truth set in, Bucky looked at the curtain closed window, eyes filled with loneliness, the despair began to eat away at him. He began to write one last message to Steve, tears gathering in his eyes.

“ _I Love You.”_ Is written on the paper, and Bucky turned it towards the window with tears sliding down his cheeks. He left it there for a moment before grabbing the page and crumpling the page in his fist. He climbed into bed, curled up into a ball, and squeezed his eyes shut.

When Bucky opened his eyes, he was staring at himself—James. He knew he was dreaming and tried with all his might to wake up. It was hopeless, he could feel it in his heart.

“Aww how pathetic. Poor broken Bucky, you got all goo-goo eyed over a simple ten-minute walk to school. What did you think is going to happen? Steve would look past your obvious lack of appendages, gutter trash looks, and see what? An interesting personality? You need to get one of those first!” James’ eyes were cold, his smirk wicked. He picked Bucky up with a cold metal arm.

“News flash charity case! You have so much baggage your so-called family are counting the minutes until you leave, and you expect someone as amazing as Steve Fucking Rogers to love you? With all the shit you have going on, I don’t even want to be around you!” Bucky tried to block out the talking, but how do you stop listening to yourself? But, like always, there is no one to correct James. He has always been right in the end, why should Bucky continue to fight him?

“No one will ever love me…I am always going to be alone.” Bucky looked up to see Steve holding out a hand to help him up. It was then that Bucky noticed he was on the floor. He forced a sad smile to his face and took the hand.

Once he was on his feet, he looked up to see Steve’s eyes become cold, the once clear eyes froze over leaving only disgust in its wake. Steve pushed him, and Bucky felt his head hit something hard. He slowly began to lose consciousness, the last thing he heard was Steve’s voice “like I would ever want a broken thing like you.”

When Bucky opened his eyes again, he could not stop the sob that came out of his mouth, or the tears that fell from his eyes. He looked at the bright red numbers, it was 3:00am. He felt like slapping himself for being so stupid, he couldn’t even sleep. He turned on his light and saw the crumpled page, and the tears erupted from his eyes. All he could do wrap his arm around his legs, rest his head on his knees, and let the tears fall.

In the window across the yard. Unnoticed by Bucky, blue eyes filled with worry, as sparks of rage begin to ignite. The voice on the phone long forgotten as Steve ended the call.

Bucky could not get back to sleep after the nightmare. Every time he closed his eyes, he would see Steve’s cold glare filled with hate. When Harold came in to wake him up, he did not want to move. He was slower getting ready today, not even the excitement of walking with Seto could cheer him up.

When he got downstairs, he decided to skip breakfast altogether, he did not feel like getting reminded how unloved he was twice in one day. When Bucky left the house and looked next door, he was surprised to see Steve waiting for him. It was at least fifteen minutes earlier then they usually left.

When Steve noticed Bucky, he gave him a sad smile. Bucky thought he could see worry shine in Steve’s eyes, but decided Steve must be worried how his relationship with Sharon will turn out. “Hey Buck, you are out here early, everything okay?”

Bucky hated how his heart constricted and a cold shiver passed through him. He felt the tight grip pain had on his heart. The claws sinking in a little bit deeper at the thought that Steve would worry about him. But he all he could do was keep repeating the same phrase over and over in his head: “I have always been alone, and I’ll always be alone.”

“Morning Steve. Yeah, everything is fine. I slept really well last night, so I got up early.” Bucky lied with a fake smile.

“That is good.” Steve said with his eyes still seemed to contain worry, but they were ablaze with something like anger. Bucky had never seen Steve angry before. Bucky decided to take this opportunity focus on something else other than the voice in his mind.

“Are you okay Steve? Do not worry about your relationship with Sharon. I am sure everything will work out; I mean you guys have been together forever. I am sure you have been through rougher patches then this before.” Bucky said with a genuine smile, if he couldn’t be happy, he’s going to make damn well sure that Steve is going to be.

“Huh?” Steve said confused. Once he finally got what Bucky was saying he bushed the conversation off like it meant nothing. “Oh! Yeah, I am sure things between me and her will play out like it should. I am worried about…the game, it is a lot of pressure. Everyone is expecting me to win the game for them.” Steve looked very conflicted about something.

Bucky smiled at him. “You do not need to worry about that. You are amazing at lacrosse and…everything else you do.” He said with a smile, Bucky is hopping that he didn’t sound like some love-struck fan.

Steve stopped, turned toward Bucky with a smile on his face, and pulled him into a hug. “Thanks Buck, no one has ever told me something like that just to make me feel better. Usually, it is to butter me up.” Bucky was in heaven, he felt like he was home for the first time in his life. Here, in Steve’s arms. Is this where he is meant to be? Is Steve his home? “Fuck! He smells so good.” Bucky thought as he pulled Steve in tighter.

“You are such a good friend.” Steve said as he pulled away and just like, that Bucky is dragged back to reality. Here, he is “homeless” again.

Bucky plastered a fake smile on his face again and patted Steve on the back. “It’s what friends are for.”

Steve smiled at him. “You are going to be at the game tonight, right? It’s my last one, and it would mean a lot to me if you were there.” Steve said still smiling, Bucky could only nod. When school came into view, both boys walked the rest of the way silently, there minds plagued with thoughts of each other.

The day went by in a blur for Bucky, between his lack of sleep and the euphoria he felt from hugging Steve, nothing really absorbed from classes today. Like icing on a cake, Bucky’s last class got out early. He decided to wait outside on the bench for Steve so they could walk home together.

He had only been there for about ten minutes when he saw Steve walking out of school talking to Sharon. When they were in full view, she pulled him in for a kiss that he seemed to have no trouble responding to. Bucky felt sick and the dizziness was getting worse, he felt so stupid. He let himself feel this way again. Steve was not, and never will be, his.

Steve belonged to Sharon; she is who Steve wants. He felt like he was going to fall until he felt familiar hands steading him. Steve’s comforting voice broke through his though his thoughts. “Are you okay Buck?”

“Oh, I’m fine Steve. I just got up to fast that’s all.” Bucky said in a joking way. Steve did not seem to buy it.

“It is a good think Sharon offered to take us home.” Steve said, his voice dripping with relief.

“Tell Sharon thanks for me, but I am fine. I think it would be better if I walk this off. Its not the first time this has happened to me, you two go on without me.” Bucky said with a smile. A small part of him is dying on the inside, the claws of pain sunk deeper into his heart every time he thought of those two together. Bucky quickly reminded himself that the important thing is Steve’s happiness.

Steve looked like he was about to protest, but he’s dragged away by Sharon before he had a chance to say anything about it. As Sharon Shoved him in the car, trying to force her lips on his, Steve managed to stop her to shout out. “Buck! Are you still coming to the game tonight?!” Buck managed to get his nod in before the car drove away. Once again, Bucky was left alone. James’ voice grew louder as the loneliness slithered around him. Bucky could barely run.

Once Bucky was in the semi-safety of his own room the tears began to fall again. He knew that he should get some rest. He needed sleep, he had the game tonight, but he was too afraid to live through that nightmare again. Once he heard Harold and Samantha leave, he went down to the kitchen and made some coffee. He was counting on the coffee keeping him awake while sat down and did his homework, hoping that it would take his mind off the nightmare.

When Bucky got everything done, he got in the shower and got dressed for the game. He settled for his favorite pair of black pants and a white t-shirt. Bucky felt comfortable, he doubted he looked good.

When he was ready, he noticed Steve in the window holding up the message. “ _Awesome you are going:) Want a ride there with me and Sharon?”_

Bucky smiled at Steve. He let himself think for a few minutes that Steve is worried about him, that Steve cared about him. “ _Yes I am going :p No that is fine prefer to walk, now go kick ass:)_ ” When he placed the page in the window, Bucky could have sworn Steve looked upset for a moment. But Bucky quickly changed his mind, blaming it on stupid hope.

All the cardio Bucky is doing today is really taking a toll on him. He didn’t really pay attention to the game, he only focused on Steve. He sat away from everyone else. Bucky didn’t want anyone to notice how excited he got when Steve did the simplest thing.

The game eventually came down to a tie. Bucky watched Steve closely. He realised how truly beautiful his movements were while playing the game. Bucky got so distracted watching Steve move that he did not even realise Steve scored the winning goal.

Bucky didn’t move, he stayed in his spot. He figured that he would try to congratulate Steve after everyone else was done. He kept his eyes on Steve, who is happy and seemed to be looking for someone. Bucky allowed himself a moment to let himself think that it was him. But he felt pathetic when he realised Steve’s eyes look towards the cheerleaders.

Bucky needed to leave. He couldn’t handle Sharon being all over Steve again, he would just congratulate him tomorrow. He kept his eyes on Steve as he walked down the bleachers but stopped when he noticed the hurt expression on Steve’s face.

Following the Steve’s gaze, he noticed that Sharon was making out with some other guy. The two of them were in a heated argument when Bucky reached the ground. His eyes locked with Steve’s. He mouthed “I am sorry” and waved goodbye before turning around and leaving.

Once Bucky made it behind the bleachers away from everyone else, he heard someone following him. His heart sped up thinking Steve was coming after him. However, when he turned around, he came face-to-face with Sharon.

“It’s your fucking fault we are having problems!” She screamed at him.

Bucky was about to ask how it is fault, but she cut him off. “You and your pathetic attempts to steal him from me! You are not even worth any attention, why would anyone give you a second glance! How in hell do you think you are good enough for him!”

Neither of the two noticed that Steve was hiding on the side of the bleachers. He listened in shock at Sharon bitch at Bucky. His eyes clouded over with rage, he was about to go give the girl a piece of his mind, but he was stopped by the sound of Bucky’s voice.

“I already fucking know I am not good enough for him! I am not as stupid as everyone thinks I am. I know that he will never want me, that no one will…. I’m broken, I cannot do anything right, I’m…unlovable. But that does not mean that I want him to be miserable! I know I cannot make him happy and I damn well know that you cannot either. But he deserves happiness, he deserves everything! So just leave me the hell alone, and if you care about Steve you will let him find whoever he needs to be happy.” Bucky had tears flowing down his face. Using the last ounce of his strength, he ran.

Sharon going to make the trashy boy pay. How dare he think that she did not deserve Steve! She only kissed the other guy to make Steve realise that she was an in-demand girl. She started to run after the pathetic twerp, but a hand stopped her. A hand that came with a voice that chilled her to her core. “Do not even think about going after my Bucky, you fucking bitch!”

When Bucky made it to his room, the tears wear still flowing from his eyes. He collapsed on his bed and lost the will to fight sleep any longer. He woke up later to the screeching of Harold’s voice again.

It was morning. He woke up numb and shivering. “Wake the hell up!” Harold’s voice boomed.

“I’m sick. I am not going today.” Bucky weakly replied.

“Lazy freeloading brat.” Harold said as he kicked the door.

Bucky pulled his blankets close. The nightmare was different this time, he was simply alone. He could see people, but they could not see him. It wasn’t that different from his life now, he managed to get three hours of sleep before Steve entered his dream.

This time Steve was talking to Sharon how pathetic he is, Steve’s laugh sent chills through his body. Normally he would not miss school, but there was only half a day today. Tonight is prom, and the committee needed extra time to set up for the dance tonight.

Bucky spent the day trying to get more sleep, and he did, but only for a moment. He always woke up in a cold sweat, some nightmare featuring Seto hating him always caused him to wake up. Before he knew it, school was let out for the day, and Seto was home writing a message to him.

_“How come you missed school today? I had to walk there by myself :(“_ Steve looked like crap, well, crap for Steve.

Bucky felt like crying again, he completely forgot Steve’s new problems with Sharon. He mentally added terrible friend to his list of faults and began writing him back.

“ _I am so sorry :( I was not feeling well. That is why I left last night without_ _congratulating you, you were awesome by the way :) You should be getting ready for prom, future king ;)_ ” Bucky showed him the message with a small smile.

Steve smiled back at him. “ _Shouldn’t you be getting ready too?”_ He wrote smiling back at Bucky. He had a weird mixture of worry, anger, and something Bucky did not recognise filling his eyes.

Steve frowned. “ _You should go, we can both go solo:)”_ He grinned. Bucky really wanted to go, but he couldn’t bear the thought of going there and seeing so many people all over a single Steve. Wait?!

_“Solo? Sharon is going with you right? Did something happen? Sorry, Steve but I really do not have a reason to go_ :( “ Bucky gave him a frown. When Steve read the message, he looked so sad, its breaking Bucky’s heart.

_“We do not need to talk about Sharon. Forget her. I am solo tonight. Is me wanting you to go a good enough reason?”_ He looked hopeful when he showed Bucky the message, and words could not describe how badly Bucky wanted to say yes.

But even though he wanted Steve to be happy with someone else. He knew he could not handle being Steve’s wingman tonight. “ _Sorry Steve I have to go…have an awesome night.”_

Bucky could not stop the tears from staining the paper, he just hoped that Steve does not see him crying. He left the page in the window and walked away from it. When he is far enough away from the window, he dropped down to the floor and began to cry.

Bucky doesn’t know how long he stayed there. When the tears finally stopped, he looked at the time, dance starts in half an hour. Bucky peeked through the window; Steve is almost ready.

When Steve notices Bucky, he picks up his book and places it in the window. Then he leaves. “ _Please come, I really need you to be there…will you come for me?”_

Bucky stared at the message and took a deep breath. He knew he shouldn’t go, but he also knew that he would do anything for Steve. He summoned the last ounces of fight he has left and begins to get ready. The tux is from a thrift store. It’s dark black with a tail, he has a white button-down shirt on underneath. The last three buttons are undone, and his chest hair is poking out which has him a little self-conscious. A dark green tie hangs loosely around his neck. The pants are to tight around his legs and ass, thankfully, his green converse match the tie. He left his hair down; he needed the armor for his eyes. 

Before he leaves his room, he looks back and sighs. “Fuck it.” Bucky grabs his crumpled _“I Love You”_ page and stuffs it in his pocket.

The walk to school felt like it took forever. When he entered the dance, everyone stared at him and he realised he must look worse than he thought. When Bucky remembered what he looked like in this tux, he felt like he was purposely giving his bullies ammo for the remaining weeks of school. He feels his world getting smaller and his breaths starts to become rapid.

He quickly hurries to find Steve, pulling the crumpled paper from his pocket. When he sees Steve the claws of pain snap closed and his heart shatters. Sharon has her arms wrapped around Steve; they are slowly swaying to the music, huge smiles on their faces. When Steve’s eyes meet his they widen.

The only thought that runs through Bucky’s mind is “I guess I really do look bad in this thing.” He turns to leave, letting the paper fall from his hand. He bolts for the door desperately trying to get out of the building. He will not give these bastards the pleasure of seeing him cry.

Once Bucky is outside, he makes it to a bench and cannot hold the tears back anymore. He is thankful that the doors were closed for the night, now no one arriving would see him cry. He is alone again, he feels the familiar feeling of suffocation slithering around him, but he’s to tired to run.

Bucky pulls his legs close. His mind is racing, James’ voice is dancing around his thoughts. Bucky feels pathetic, he feels broken, he feels nothing but pain. “Will I ever know what being loved feels like?” He mumbles, his crying covers the footsteps approaching from the school. Bucky only realises he isn’t alone when there are wrapped around him.

“Buck, you actually came.” Steve says as he buries his face in Bucky’s neck.

Home…this thought shuts James up. Bucky feels the claw release his heart and the loneliness slithers away. He smells Steve, he feels Steve’s warmth, and he can breathe again. When Bucky opens his eyes, he sees blue. Steve is very close.

“Buck? What happened? You were having a panic attack.” Steve’s eyes fill with flecks of worry, but it does not consume his eyes, something else is there instead. Bucky takes a moment to take in his surroundings, Steve is sitting in his lap!

“I am sorry Steve; I did not mean to ruin your night like that. I get anxious sometimes…it can really kill the mood. You should just go back to the prom; I am sure one of your friends will sneak you back in.” Bucky can feel his face heat up. Steve is smirking at him…smirking! The little shit! Bucky doesn’t know what to do with his hand, so it ends up flailing. The embarrassment continues to show on his face, Steve continues to sit in his lap, Steve has his arms on Bucky’s shoulders.

“Buck you did not ruin my night. My night did not start until you walked through that door.” Steve says shamelessly checking Bucky out. Bucky’s brain may be shorting out. “You look incredible by the way.”

“Th-thanks Steve! Its only an old thing I picked up at a thrift store, so you don’t need to be super nice about it. I know it probably looks awful; everyone was staring at me. I have hard time as it is dealing with bullies, because of the whole lacking a left arm thing, I do not need more once everyone realises you came out here after me. I should have worn something else, I’m such an idiot! Samantha is telling the truth; I can’t do anything….” Bucky rambled, until Steve stopped him with a kiss.

The kiss made everything stop. Bucky felt like a weight was lifted from him and his mind seemed to calm, like his body was giving him a chance to fully focus on this moment with Steve. What started as a simple press of the lips turned into more when Steve started to move his lips, that’s when Bucky tasted a cherry flavor. As he was making the connection between cherry and lip balm, Steve pulled away, and then Bucky remembered that breathing is a thing.

“I do not give a damn about the prom! Everyone in there can fuck off, honestly. What I do give a shit about is you. I came here tonight because I wanted to dance with you, I wanted this to become our first couple event…I want you to be my boyfriend. Well…specifically mine. Boyfriend gives off this lack of commitment, and I need people to know that you are it for me.” Steve said with his eyes shining brightly.

“Wait? What are you talking about?” Bucky said still trying to wrap his head around the fact Steve used the word: fuck.

“I have been gone on you since the first night we talked. I just didn’t realise it, but at the same time part of me sort of claimed you as mine….” Steve said looking up at the moon as his fact turned a bright red.

Then Bucky noticed that the color drained from Steve’s face and his eyes began to get colder when he made eye contact again. “Then I saw…and heard, what Sharon said to you yesterday.”

“Honestly Steve, you probably shouldn’t hold that against her. People have said worse to me all my life, hell just ask my bullies. At least Sharon didn’t push me to the ground and try to tip me over when I was getting up.” Buck said nonchalantly.

There have been many times in Bucky’s life when he wished he could just suck his words back in his mouth. Like when he pushed his old foster parents to far and he ended up with some burns, or when he’d taunt his bullies and end up at the bottom of some stairs. But, in this moment, he never wished it more. Steve is scaring him, Bucky is afraid, not for himself. A voice inside his head that gave him a warm feeling told reminded him that Steve would never hurt him. Bucky just wish he knew what caused the change in Steve.

“What bullies? Who has been hurting you Buck!” Steve gritted out through his clenched teeth. His eyes were cold and lifeless, Bucky swears there are puffs of air fuming from Steve’s nose.

“You know the ones I mentioned earlier, they have a laugh at the expense of the guy with one arm. That is a really long list Steve, it would be easier to tell you who is nice to me. Why does it matter?” Bucky says honestly. Why would it matter to Steve? Bucky did hear him earlier, but Steve is likely on the rebound or something. No one could want Bucky that much, certainly not Steve.

“Why does it matter?! Buck! It matters because you are the single most important person to me. I get that I took a long time to get here, and I know that it is my fault. But I’m trying to tell you that I love you, I’m in love with you, I have been for years.” Steve said as his eyes began to lighten, and his face began to relax.

Bucky could only sigh. “Steve, I get it. You are going through a break-up, but I cannot be rebound sex. We both know you cannot be in love with me, I am completely worthle-“. Steve cut Bucky off by pulling him into Steve’s chest. Bucky found himself pressed into Steve’s neck, while Steve’s fingers ran through his hair.

“I never want to hear you say that again! Any of it! You’re mine! I will not let you be with anyone else! I know I messed up, I left you alone for so long, but I promise I will not ever do it again. Just please give me another chance.” Steve said tightening his hold, but still held on to Bucky like he was the most precious thing in the world.

So many thoughts were going through Bucky’s head: “I just can’t believe him…he can’t want me, I do not deserve him. I need to make sure Steve is happy.”

“Steve you shouldn’t be with me. I’m not good enough for you…I have so much baggage. You are special, so kind, and you deserve someone who is amazing.” Bucky forced himself to break away from Steve enough to look him in the eye, but Steve wrapped both arms around his waste holding him close.

“I would like to see the fool who tries to show me someone more amazing then you. Who ever told my man, that you were anything less than perfect for me is going to fucking know it when I find them!” He never took his eyes off Bucky for a moment, his eyes shinning with passion, and a few tears.

Bucky tried to break away from Steve, tried to make Steve realise that Bucky would only hold him back. But he was exhausted, and he just did not have the strength to run anymore. “Please don’t go! Please don’t leave me. Why can’t you see how much I love you?”

Steve looks down into Bucky’s eyes and something clicks in Bucky’s mind. Steve’s eyes have been shining bright and proud with an emotion all night. Is it love?

“Is this what it feels like to be loved by someone?” Bucky mumbles.

He desperately wanted to let himself believe that Steve could love him, be in love with him. But Steve deserved someone better. Bucky leaned in and connected their lips once more. When they parted Steve had the happiest smile Bucky had ever seen plastered on his face. That look said it all and Bucky could not control himself anymore.

He wrapped his arms around Steve and buried his face in Steve’s neck. “That was better than I ever dreamed, and you need to know that I love you. I love you so much it hurts. But because I do, I cannot let you mess up your life like this.” Bucky said looking up into Steve’s eyes.

Bucky tried to sound strong and proud, he was doing the right thing. But what came out is laced in pain and heartbreak. “You can do so much better than me, it will be easy for you to find someone better than me, and they will have two arms. Plus, you will probably get tired of me in like a week or two anyway, but it is okay. I am used to being alone.” Bucky tried so hard to not let Steve see that with every word he spoke crushed his own heart piece by piece.

When he was finally able to move out of Steve’s grip, he felt every chance he had at happiness disappear with every inch they drifted apart. Bucky knew he had to speed this along, he couldn’t let Steve miss all of prom. Plus, he couldn’t keep this up much longer. Bucky decided to take one last look at Steve’s beautiful eyes when he froze. He felt the blood in his veins turn to ice. Bucky had never seen Steve so pissed, and he looked at Steve a lot.

“Buck listen, I love you, so I need you to get this through you head. I love you; you are it for me, I will only ever love you, you are mine and I belong to you. I am never letting you go, or letting you be alone again. I do not care if you are used to being alone, it makes you unhappy, I have seen it. I will spend every moment I have left alive with you, until the mere thought of you being alone makes you run into my arms!” Steve said clenching his fist in Bucky’s jacket.

“Now, this is important! I know I only realised that I loved you a few days ago, but I have known it deep down for so long. The thought of you in the arms of anyone used to make me feel weird, uncomfortable, now it makes me burn with envy. Fuck! if I ever see it, I am going to need you to stop me from ripping their arms off. Sure, when it comes to my parents or anyone else platonic, I do not give a shit! I know you are a person and need more than me.” Steve huffed out starting to cry and sniffle.

“You are mine, and no one is going to take you away from me. I can’t lose you, not when I just realised how stupid I’ve been for not doing this sooner, for not doing this sooner. Lastly, I never want the thought of me getting over you, not wanting you, deserving someone better, or being better than you, to ever enter your mind again!” The tears were running down Steve’s face now, Bucky could feel the damp spot on his shoulder.

“I’ve not some perfect, golden boy. That is just what the school makes me out to be. When I’m with you, that is the real me. You are the only one that likes the real me!” Steve mumbles out after he chokes out a sob.

Bucky is speechless, wide eyed and speechless. He did not know what to say, Steve had shut him up and the voices in his head. He is pretty sure James ran off and is shaking in some dark corner.

Steve took Bucky’s silence as an indicator that he is trying to think of some other ridiculous reason that they could not be together. So, backed into a corner and out of options, Steve di the embarrassing thing. He pulled a pile of folded paper out of his jacket pocket and put them in Bucky’s hand.

“Look at those, and if that is not enough. Tell me what else I need to do; I’ll do anything, whatever it takes to make you see that I will never want or need someone else besides you.” Steve said with inflamed cheeks.

Bucky unfolded the pages (with a little help from Steve) and looked through the papers. Bucky’s face went four shades darker than Steve’s when he read them. They all said _I Love You_ , like his crumpled page, each one written differently than the other. Some had sketches with the words, others just used different writing styles.

Steve looked at the ground, his cheeks a bright red. “I didn’t know which one you would like best. So, I made a bunch and was going to let you pick”.

Bucky’s mind went blank. He didn’t have another reason why he couldn’t be with this guy. Why he shouldn’t be happy. “Can I keep them all?” Bucky said looking up at Steve as he finally let the happiness in.

“Of course, you can Buck.” Steve said with a bright grin, brushing the tears of joy from his eyes. He had no words for how he felt right now, he is finally with the love of his life.

“Buck, will you be my partner?” Steve said with a smirk.

Bucky looked up into those bright blue eyes, the ones he had admired from afar for so many years. He let himself feel happy, he let himself feel loved. “Yes, someone has to watch your back. By the way I love you too punk.” Bucky said with a smirk.

“I know.” Steve said smirking back.

“Am I that obvious?” Bucky said as his cheeks get a little pink.

“Not to me!” Steve said as his face heated up again. “I actually found this.” He said holding up Bucky’s crumpled page.

“Oh!” Bucky said as he reached for the page.

“Hey now, this is mine!” Steve said clutching the page to his chest.

Bucky smiled, it was light and happy. Steve’s mouth dropped a little as he stared. “Okay, come on.” Bucky says holding out his hand.

“Where are we going?” Steve asks taking his hand.

“I’m taking you to prom. It's what you wanted right?” Bucky said blushing. “That page can replace your corsage.” Buddy said smirking.

“Sure Buck.” Steve laughed big and proud.

“I hope you know that paper means that I totally said I love you first.” Bucky said pointing to the page Steve has pressed to his chest with a chuckle.

“Like hell! I pulled that out of you with my amazing declaration of love.” Steve said smirking a Bucky. “So, fuck you Buck.”

“Well the night is still young, and someone seems like he wants to shred his image of being a perfect gentleman. So, we’ll see how the night goes.” Bucky says trying to sound confident, he’s pretty sure he failed miserably.

Bucky is to nervous to look back at Steve, but he must when he feels a tug on his arm. Bucky looks back and Steve’s pupils are blown. Steve begins dragging Bucky down the opposite hall. “I want to show you something in my gym bag.” Bucky’s eyes widen, and he may be drooling.

Later that night, no one comments when Steve and Bucky return to the dance. Their hair is a mess and they may have switched shirts. Bucky will gladly admit, however, that he laughed very loudly when Sharon broke her heel as she stomped away and Steve? Well, Steve is just happy to have his dance at prom with Bucky. Getting the opportunity to ‘assist’ the heel in breaking earlier that night? That is just the beginning, Bucky did say he had a long list, and school is almost over.


End file.
